It's not the kind of thing people want to hear about the day after Thanksgiving. In fact, most people are still too jacked up on cranberry sauce and sweet potato pie to even care. but it's been nagging at me all week - racism. It's still here.
As a man of color (that sounds so dignified, doesn't it?) I have had to deal with that ugly little troll of racism, living under Americas draw bridge, many times. I've been profiled by storekeepers, harassed by police officers (wrong neighborhood, wrong color), and been the victim of - this is surely the worst - stereotyping. (living in the great melting pot that is New York, I can only imagine how much worse it is in other places)
It's hard sometimes to explain to someone, who hasn't had any of those experiences, what it feels like to be discriminated against (never-mind for something you can't change - nor would ever want to). You wouldn't believe some of the skeptical looks you can get telling someone how, after sizing two jackets, the owner of the vintage clothing store kicked you and your Palestinian friend out because you were "trying on too much clothes".
Society has conditioned me to be sensitive to those awkward, often infuriating racially flavored situations. That's just the way it is. But some people don't have the same perspective to properly understand it.
What happens when the person who doesn't "get it" is a friend or acquaintance of yours? What do you do when it's that cool guy from work - the one you're always joking with about how much you hate your job - who says something a little racist? This can lead to a pretty uncomfortable conversation. (Omg! Johny's a racist. I knew it!)
I like to think that in those types of situations, I've handled it the right way (by screaming RACIST! and walking away). The truth is, when confronted with a little taste of something prejudice from someone close, I gloss over it. I don't want to make things weird. but by doing that, it invariably always makes things weird. I can never look at Johny the same again, he's a racist.
It turns out, One of the most, if not the most, difficult things to talk about in America isn't as simple as 'racist vs. not racist'. There is room for shades of grey in the discussion.
In his 'ah-ha moment' inducing Tedx Talk presentation, entitled "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Talking About Race.", WBAI radio show host, Jay Smooth, talks about the techniques he used to make the conversation about race and racism more nuanced. (I wish I'd seen this before I talked to Johny)
Smooth makes a good point, wouldn't you say? I would.
Like I said at the beginning, this topic has been on my mind all week (actually since Tuesday but who's counting?). Here's why; a very pretty young white girl posted a photo of herself on Facebook (remember my addiction? Go back and read "My Angry Letter to Facebook") giving the middle finger and captioning it "fuck these niggas".
I felt offended by that and wanted to post a comment telling her so, but I didn't. Why? I didn't want to be one of "those" people who always start arguments over race. Besides, I thought, It's her facebook, she can do what she ever she wants. But it still nagged at me.
Clearly, I wasn't doing this young girl any favors by not telling her. I had to say something.
When I got up today, I decided to go on her page and leave a comment (better late than never right?).
"You using that word makes me uncomfortable".
Concise and emotionally relevant.
In this case, waiting four days to say that was a good thing. There's probably a hundred different ways I could have phrased that comment to her - And not all of them would have been as dignified. But I wish I would have said something earlier.
With racism, when you see it poke it's ugly little head out, you got to stomp it out right there. The little moments, left unattended, can cause just as much harm as the big stuff.
Before you know it, it's at the Thanksgiving dinner table and you've "got a little racism stuck in your teeth."
and that's something nobody wants to think about.
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