I guess it's official right? We're in full swing of the holiday season. To be fair, it actually swung into full gear more than a month ago, when Halloween fever swept up the country in a candy induced frenzy. But with thanksgiving coming up on us fast it feels really real. There's just something about having to prepare a large meal, for family you haven't seen all year that screams "holiday, it's heerre".
No doubt about it, Thanksgiving is a joyous time of year (Fooood!!). But if you're the one who has to do all the cooking and hosting, thanksgiving can inspire scary feelings. It can make you want to rip out your hair at the mere mention of it. During thanksgiving, some people just have to show up with a side dish ("sidechick" in the case of your married uncle), eat up and have a good time. You on the other hand, you're in physical agony - sweaty palms, queasy stomach, pounding heart - over the idea of pulling off the perfect thanksgiving dinner. You have what I affectionately call, Thanksgiving day stage fright (or TDSF to you acronym loving people out there).
Putting on any social event is a big deal just by itself. The pressure multiplies 20 fold around the holiday season. In your desperation to make a good impression and perform well, you create all this tension that makes your enjoyment of your own event impossible. That my friend is TDSF. It's understandable though, for the people at your Thanksgiving dinner, you are the maestro; conducting the stage with an expert mixture of improvisation, technique, and cranberry sauce . All eyes are on you and you must succeed.
Then there are those annoying people who seem so cool under the hot glare of pulling of the thanksgiving spotlight. The prospect of having a bunch of family over, making sure they don't kill each other, and enjoy the meal, doesn't bother them one bit. They're cool under pressure. That's bullshit (My first blog curse, yay!).
Everybody suffers some kind of performance anxiety. The only difference is in how they handle it. Over time they just learned to control their nerves and harness it (like a superpower). You can make pretty good use of tension when you're preparing to host or even, attend, a holiday dinner with preparation (if you've read my other posts you know this is one of my favorite words).
Get your head in the game soldier! (sorry for mixing my metaphors) You don't have to be afraid of a little holiday - even the big ones. Good preparation was made for a holiday like Thanksgiving. Thorough preparation can guarantee that 90 percent of your night will go smoothly. When you are the host, you're the person with the greatest control (not the turkey, it is just a turkey).
First thing you'll want to do is make sure you know how many people are coming over. Tell them what time to show up and what time dinner will be served. This should be done at least 2 weeks before the big day. This will give you a good estimation of how much food should be purchased. Now, keep in mind, in these kooky modern times, people have certain food restrictions and allergies. It doesn't makes sense to take a list of everyone's "cant's", there should be a few alternative options (If your guest list is small go ahead and make that list). That's basically it (if your looking for cooking advice, you came to the wrong place).
The possibility always exists that something unexpected will happen (uncle eddy brought his mistress, great!), the main thing to remember during these trying times, is that your guest are there to have a good time. People are really sympathetic to the problem of being the Thanksgiving day dinner host. If they were the one doing it - and some have - they would be feeling the same way.
Around this time of year, euphemistically called the "holiday season", a lot is expected of us. It's a big stage where cheerfulness, giving, and mirth are the marks of a good performance. We've booked the theater (our house), we've bought the props (the food), and we've invited the audience (family and friends). Opening night is not too far away. You think to yourself, "It's all riding on me". You can do it. You can survive the holidays with a full head of hair. Thanksgiving day stage fright, much like regular stage fright, really isn't something to actually fear. You can take it and use it to get supercharged; giving you the energy to handle all the ups and downs that come with the holidays.
Everyone knows you're trying your best. We're all trying our best. And if things don't go as planned this time around, remember, there's always Christmas dinner.
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