In-spi-ra-tion n. The stimulation within the mind of some
idea, feeling, or impulse which leads to creative action.
Last night, I went to bed with the word "Inspiration" buzzing in my head. Having established a routine of getting up early and typing out that days post (with an idea or outline already done the day before), I sat in front of my computer ready to write something about inspiration. An hour passed, then another, and another, still nothing came out. Surely, this was the gods of irony playing a trick on me.
I paced around as if my feet could will the words into my brain, like one of those bike powered generators at Occupy Wall St.. And yet nothing came (no surprise there - I wasn't wearing my thinkin' shoes).
I don't like to file a post after 10am, it makes me feel lazy. As that dreaded hour steadily approached, I began to have a serious bought of anxiety. My head started to ache, I felt noxious, the room started to spin (It didn't but a spinning room always sounds good) I asked myself, Have I completely run out of - gasp - inspiration? What did I do to deserve this? Was it because I use too many conjunctions?
Before I knew it, my self imposed deadline was in the rear view mirror of my day. I was never ever going to get it back. The thought of that made me sad. I don't take failure very well. Rejection I can handle, failure drives me insane. Clearly this is due to my American values system, which taught to never give up, never surrender - to infinity and beyond! (I think Abe Lincoln said that).
If inspiration was not going to come to me, I would have to go to inspiration. But where does inspiration live? To help me track it down, I started to think about what the word itself meant.
After a quick visit to my dictionary, I was on to something. I could feel it. There was a twinge of something being sparked to life, Like Frankensteins monster, in my brain (Inspiration, is that you?) The next logical question had to be what inspired me?
What about that book you like so much?
You? Where have you been?
I went for walk.
A walk?
Yeah, a walk. Is there a problem?
No. No. It just doesn't sound like you.
I'm trying to work off the turkey weight.
Oh, I see. Anyway, Good idea!
Recently, I found myself reading Booker T. Washington's book, "Up From Slavery", the autobiography of a former slave who became one of the great icons of African-American history. I have had to read it, in the past, for junior high school, high school, and college for several teachers and a professor, on whose grades I depended on. This time I was doing it for fun (slavery, yay!).
In the book, Washington describes a particularly hard childhood saturated in poverty, ignorance, and back breaking labor. He writes,"My life had it's beginning in the midst of the most miserable, desolate, and discouraging surroundings". He was born as disadvantaged as anybody can ever imagine - as property. But somehow he changed all that.
SPIOLER ALERT: Booker T. Washington goes on to a bright future as head of the Tuskegee Institute, a scholar and an influential figure in America.
All the things he had to go through, makes me wonder why I can't be just as brave and courageous in the face of adversity. It motivates me, It encourages me, It - inspires me.
In hindsight it struck me that I had taken inspiration for granted. You do not get an idea out of some surreal phantom zone of your own creation. It's an active process based on things we have seen, touched, smelled, tasted and felt.
Next time, I'll remember that before I sit in front of the computer. (and maybe stop using so many conjunctions too...)
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